Morning at Cafe Sola

Quicksand. The quicksand is my brain, full of thoughts and questions and answers and unending ruminations that have me trapped. I was just walking along, eyeing the clouds and wondering if it smelled like rain when BAM, I tripped into a pool of quicksand.

I struggled! I’ve heard one should never struggle in quicksand. It makes you sink faster if you resist. But in the crisis of the moment, I reacted furiously. First, I sank up to my knees.

Did I leave the stove on? I forgot to pay my credit card bill. Stupid! Stupid! I’ll slip by the bank on the way…should I walk or drive? Would I remarry if he died?

The quicksand seeped into my shoes, a thick slop hugging my body as I begged my mind to be still. Still enough that I might escape into a blissful silence. Pause, and the sinking will stop. But…

I wonder if I should spend a month in Mexico this year? I have to call Lalo today and see about. . .I need some red shoes to go with that dress if I want to wear it on Friday. Did he pick up the gift like I asked? Was that silence? Will I make a good mother?

I’m crying now, because the quicksand is creeping up to my armpits very fast. I feel the cool mud cling to my body and find my skin. Pause, I tell myself, pause, pause. But I can’t pause. My brain is getting more…

I should stop by the grocery store and pick up some chicken for dinner. Damn, I knew I should have bought that chicken at the farmer’s market. Will he be home? Am I cooking for two? Is he thinking of me? Am I good?

No, no, no, no! I struggle. I shift and pull and paddle and kick at this juicy sludge, threatening to bury me forever. I yank. It is a tremendous effort, this bold, powerful YANK!

How are her treatments going? Should I take over some homemade soup? Homemade soup—who am I kidding? Is it cooling down? Should I take the plants in tonight?

YANK! But it’s utterly useless. I’m done. I'm stuck. STUCK! The quicksand has reached my shoulders. It’s buried my heart. The struggle ends, and I am suspended, trapped in my thoughts, surrounded by quicksand. Motionless.

I look at the trees. The wind rustles the leaves. Gently. Tenderly. The sun streaming through the branches creates a pattern on the ground. I feel the air on my exposed face. It's warm and sweet. It's quiet and still.

I walk on.

Sowing some wild oats

I camped on the edge of a pea farm—a long, open field of green surrounded by trees in the distance. My station wagon was parked beside the old farmhouse (a hundred years old they tell me), and with the back seats folded down, I had the ideal little bed, sleeping next to my guitar and backpack. When the morning sun snuck around the corner of the house and started beating in through the car windows, I took my blanket out to the tree in the front yard and stretched out under a wide canopy of branches and leaves. And that’s where I stayed all morning.

This was the site of Wild Oats and Notes, a music festival outside Tofield, Alberta, where I rediscovered summer. I played on Sunday, but the festival ran all weekend and we got to hang out with some old and new friends under the intense summer sun, just trying to keep cool and soaking up some great music.

On Sunday especially, the heat was INTENSE! I took the cue from some kids in an ice fight and drenched myself with ice, sought shade, any respite from the heat. I can’t tell you about the sweet joy of celebrating the end of my set with a cold beer. Some things go together like peanut butter and jelly—and beer and hot summer days are definitely one of those timeless pairings.

Wish I had a picture of the stage, emerging from one end of the grain bin; camps hidden in the trees around the farm fields; the old blacksmith shop. But since I didn’t have a camera, you’ll have to recreate the scene yourself. Better yet, just indulge in your own nostalgic summer sanctuary of sweet heat.

The summer holds a spattering of festivals and some good time for creating music. I’ve been co-writing with Danny Fortier while I’m in town and getting totally immersed in the creative process. At the end of August, I’ll be heading on a short tour to the west coast, so keep posted for details!

Enjoy the sun…